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Trying to go above and beyond


      My boyfriend is the love of my life. I want to marry this man. Our sex is amazing and he always makes sure that I finish. He tells me that he loves our sex and that I am perfect the way I am but I want to please him even more. Sometimes I just wish he would orgasm so hard that he is physically showing it. Don’t get me wrong, when he does finish it’s amazing. Sometimes I feel like he’s able to bounce back right after finishing, and I want to completely destroy him (sorry if that’s graphic). But I just want the satisfaction of knowing I give him mind blowing sex especially on thanksgiving. He’s that good of a man, our sex is so great that I just want to really make him feel good.

      And my boyfriend has try some good idea to make me mind-blowing!

  • take your time, don’t be rushed. Get settled in and comfy and let her know you’re gonna be doing (thing) for a good long while. (Thing) could be oral, fingering g spot, rubbing clit, whole body massage, shoulder/neck massage, foot massage, slow kissing, whatever that particular woman finds both relaxing and arousing.

  • ramp up intensity slowly. The goal is not 0-100 in 10 minutes, the goal is 0-10 in 10 minutes.

  • gradually increase the intensity based on her body language (which means pay attention to her body language). If she starts closing her eyes more frequently, if her breathing either becomes more deep or more shallow, if her toes start to curl, if she starts gripping the sheets or your back or shoulders, if her back starts to arch, if she starts softly moaning or whimpering, you can amp it up a teeny bit. If she’s not reacting any differently after the first 10-20 mins, it’s time to communicate. Maybe what you’re doing isn’t working for her, maybe she’s not in the mood, maybe her yes was really more of a no. The only way to find out is to ask. And respect whatever the answer is.

  • some women are one-and-done when it comes to orgasms, some want and can have multiple. Find out which one she is and proceed from there. If she’s one-and-done, having more stimulation after cumming might be really uncomfortable and she may need a minute or 30 to recover. If she wants and can have multiple, the first orgasm or three may just be a warm up for her.

  • some women struggle to reach orgasm with a partner - or even by themselves. That does not mean sex or being pleasured doesn’t feel good. If your particular lady friend is in this camp, do not focus on her orgasms. That will put a ton of pressure on her to perform, she may feel guilty that she can’t, and she may end up faking it to make you happy. There are so many kinds of sexual pleasure, orgasm is just one specific kind. But it is not the only kind. Focus on non-orgasm sexual pleasure and reassure her that you just want her to feel fucking amazing, however that ends up manifesting for her.

  • don’t be afraid of toys. They are additions to the bedroom, not replacements for anything. There are few things hotter or more reassuring for a woman than knowing her partner is secure enough in his sexuality to confidently use toys.

  • have sessions focused on her pleasure. Give without expecting anything in return. One of the biggest gifts you can give a partner is allowing them the occasion to be sexually selfish. (Obligatory: this should be a two way street and not always one-sided).

  • don’t refer to women as females. It’s weird and dehumanizing.


If anyone can give me ideas that would be great (not onto the anal stage yet, that will need some time but open to anything else)